Visa Applications are like 1984 and Brave New World together

Tonight I'm trying to fill in UK Visa applications for all of us; despite the fact that I am actually exempt, because "DND recommends it." Some of the questions that my 20 month old has to answer (it actually says in the instructions that children are supposed to fill it out on their own):

a. If accompanied, please provide full details of up to two adults who will accompany you, including their passport numbers and your exact relationship to them. (the IF part is my favourite)

b. In times of either war or peace have you ever been involved in, or suspected of involvement in, war crimes, crimes against humanity or genocide?

c. Have you engaged in any other activities that might indicate that you may not be considered a person of good character? (Only British bureaucracy would ask if you're a mass murderer, then ask if your character could be questioned...)

Finally, there are also instructions that state, "If a section does not refer to your situation you are to enter, 'Please note N/A.'" Because the please is important.